Sharing pain is as important as sharing the good times

A short while back I mentioned to my daughter ,you should be taking some pictures of your Dad right now. He has been fighting for his life for the last 71/2 years . It has been a series of hospital stays ,surgeries and pain. Some small good moments; like he was able to make it to her wedding and he was at both of her college graduations. Mostly it has been a series of in the Hospital,out ,back in a nursing home ,out ,back to the hospital... Well I have helped her care for him all these years also and it has taught me much about life. You don't get to pick what the times are going to be like that you share with someone you care about. They may be painful,frustrating,stressful. Short bursts of laughter here and there overshadowed by pain. So you need to make the most of what time you are given.

I have talked with many people that have been by a parents side while they were dieing,while Hospice was helping them cope. Some of those memories that they have next to thier loved ones bedside were the most profound moments that they had ever had with that person. They took that time to ask some questions of that person and share some thoughts.Many of them have said they learned some things they never knew about them

We are formed by the experiances life throws at us. We can decide if these experiances are going to make us more compassionate people or harden us. Seeing this man lose his legs and go through all this suffering has made me so appreciative of just being able to plant two feet on the ground and walk to where I want to go. Has made me see the world through the eyes of the disabeled. Seeing him still want to fight to stay alive even when his day is filled with nothing but pain makes me marvel at the will to live.