Sunday, October 4, 2009

Older woman ,younger man.Happy Anniversary!

Well it's been 13 years Oct 5th that Craig and I got married. The above pic is the 2 of us at his brother Jim's wedding a couple years ago. Most people just seeing us don't know there is a 16 year age difference between my husband and I. Yes he is the younger one,lol. I attribute it to his early baldness and greying and to my good genes, haha!

Whenever you go into a relationship with this type of age gap there is bound to be a certain amount of apprehension. You have to realize that 13 years ago my husband was in his late 20's and I was in my early 40's. That's a generation apart. He had never been married before,I not only had been but I also came with a 14 year old teenager! Talk about a possible train wreck.

First there was the many talks about ,are you SURE you never want children?? Me to him of course. How do you know that won't change for you in a few years? I was relentless about asking him that. His reassurance that he never did want them ,but would be happy helping me with my daughter didn't really ease my worries on this subject.

Next was the discussion about our differences. He likes 80's music,I grew up with the Beatles but love all music. He liked gaming (indoor sports) I like outdoor stuff and working out. He is a home body ,I like to travel and do stuff.

And his family and his friends and my family and my friends...would they accept me? him with me? would they accept him/us? I am happy to say for the most part the friends and family on both sides have accepted this relationship. Some of his friends are in the midst of raising their families,something we are now done with.But I still love seeing them have families and being around the little ones. I love "his "friends as they have become mine. I like getting to know their new additions to their families and hope they all know that we don't mind being around their kids just because we don't have any young ones.

After all our talking and all my brow beating him about how I will be reaching retirement way before him (kind of a bad joke now that it looks like no one will be able to retire) it all fell back to the basic ingredients of any relationship. Love,respect and adaptability. Respecting his passions and him respecting mine.

So here we are at year 13 and no regrets for either of us so far. It hasn't always been easy,we've had our trials and tribulations. But none of it had to do with age difference. It was mainly life and how it can slam you with stuff and how we choose to deal with it. I ask my self every year about now,"would I say those vows to him again today? Each year has been a resounding"YES!" How wonderful.

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