Good Bye Andy And Abby,and best of luck on your new life!

This last summer my Nephew married the love of his life,Abby. She finished college and got her degree as  Phyto Technologist (I really hope I have that correct) anyway  I know its important lab work diagnosing  the pathology of cells (cancer,ect). Abby tried hard to find a job in the Michigan area. Unfortunately there was nothing to speak of in her field. As many people coming out of college with looming school loans ,she started to search out of state for work.
She landed a job in Buffalo, New York a couple weeks ago. So in a flurry of two weeks they are on their way Oct 28th to start their new life in a whole new area. It happened so fast that it's been hard to wrap our minds around it.
Both Andy and Abby worked with my brother Ed in his Bookstore for many years. Them leaving will leave my brother with a large void not only on a personal level but on a business level. My sister n law ,Linda,who threw them a wonderful going away dinner,will also miss them so very much. She gave a very heartfelt ,tearful toast to send them on their way. Her heart is breaking that they are leaving,but she is hopeful that this will be a good thing for them. We all wish them well and that this will be the start of a wonderful life together.
Another place to visit! But considering how much snow they get there,I think I will wait till Summer or Fall!
Good Luck Guys ,we love you!!!

Time marches on

I find my self in a bit of a funk today. One minute Im ok,next minute consumed with sadness,then the next grateful for everything in my life. Such is the process of mourning. I've done it before. We all will do it or have done it at one time or another in our lives. Depending on how close you were to the person that has passed or in what capacity they affected your life will dictate how deep or for how long the grieving will go on. No matter what, it will cause you to question your own mortality.

Why are we here? what is this life all about? If we just die, whats the point? I believe that the human energy (spirit,as some call it) has to go somewhere. That is just plain ol physics. All energy goes on. I am agnostic. I do not know for certain what happens to this energy but I know it will go on.
Being a person that can have a decent imagination I can picture a "good" life force. Passing on to inhabit a new life that will have good things befall it. And if your a 'bad" life force,you will go on to suffer and live a hard life. Possibly until you get it right ,if you ever do. Most of our life forces probably fall somewhere in between the good and bad and we are just sent on a path that teaches us lessons we have not learned yet.

This is nothing I am certain about. It is just the way I think it may go. I really do wish I had blind faith in Jesus,or Allah ,or any number of "gods" that people worship. It would be comforting to say the least.

All I know is that I am acutely aware of how quickly our time on this plane goes by. You blink and another decade has gone by. One day your graduating from High school,the next your starting your family.
SLOW DOWN!! I hear my mind screaming. I am not ready for it to go by so fast. I want more time.

And I miss all of the people I loved that have passed on so much! I talk to them and once in awhile I imagine they hear me,and maybe even answer me. The memories swirl around in my head and my heart aches. I think of a funny memory and I smile. The worst thing is the silence. The phone not ringing,the lack of hearing their voices on a regular basis. The smiles in their eyes when they saw you and you them.

Then another week passes and you feel like you better get a grip and take what life you have in both hands and relish every split second of it. For to be able to go outside and look up at the sky,feel the sun on your face is a gift from this universe. Enjoy it,live it! Do not waste it on small thoughts,or hatred or pettiness. Embrace it,because every single one of those people that have moved on would tell you to.They know like no other what a gift the now is.
Laugh and love the best you can every single day as if it is your last. Hard to do? maybe. But so much harder not to.

Loss of a friend

Sept 25th my ex-husband died. I don't really like refering to him like that. He was the father of my beautiful daughter and had become a friend.

He wasn't always the easiest person to deal with.Which is why we were ex's. In the last 9 years since he had gotten injured I had taken on the unlikely role of one of his caregivers,and we had formed a friendship.
I have never been one of those people to hate my ex's. How can you hate a person you used to love? Relationships end for a variety of reasons and I choose to relish the good memories. It doesn't serve your growth to hang on to bad feelings.
He was his own worst enemy most of the time. Causing himself more pain and agony than he needed to. He loved life and I have never seen anyone try to hang on to it like he did. I am thankful that he was here to see our daughter graduate with her masters and to get married.
I know he is in a better place now,but I doubt he would agree. He was in constant pain of varying degrees but he fought it just to live the best he could. I hope he is flying free with all those loved ones that passed on before him.
I am thankful for this man, My wonderful husband . He was understanding and secure enough in our relationship to let me help my ex. Knowing that by doing so would only make our relationship stronger.

Rest in peace Linwood.