The Wedding of Doleila and William

Had the honor to attend the wedding of my brother in  law Bill to his fiance Doleila this past Saturday. It was the first time that I have ever attended a Muslim wedding in a Mosque(Masjid).Primarily I was attending to celebrate in Bills happiness at finding a women to share his life. But I also was curious as to the customs and was anxious to observe.
Being agnostic I am curious about other religions. Understand that being agnostic does not mean that I am not spiritual it means that I do not practice any" formal "religious practice.I choose to not belong to any specific congregation of any religion. If I were to define my belief system it would be that I feel there is only one "God" and that we are all his/her children.I do not follow the belief that if I do not accept Jesus as my savior that I will be condemned.
I practice Yoga,which feeds my soul and my body in a way that I find comforting and spiritual.I practice my beliefs everyday with how I treat others and conduct my life.

But back to my experiences at the above wedding,
The first thing to note is that all women entering a Mosque must wear something on their heads. A scarf is what usually is worn.
When we arrived ,the woman were directed to a separate entrance labeled for "sisters". The men entered the Mosque from another door.

Once inside we were told that we could walk on the green carpet with our shoes on,but the brown carpet was not to be walked on with shoes. Then the woman were directed to a back room for us to take off our shoes and coats. I immediately stepped slightly on the brown carpet without intending to and was hustled off much to my embarrassment! I hadn't even been in the mosque for 5 minutes and I had already broken a rule.
Sigh..and I had planned to be so good at this.. anyway all of us women sat around on the floor in back waiting to be brought in the other room for the (Nikaa) ceremony to begin.

I could not help but be curious as to what all of the men were up to. As I looked around I felt that was what other non Muslim women may have been thinking also.

After a short time we were told we could put our shoes back on. Off the carpet of course. If I had known there would have been all of this on and off of the shoes I would have worn my mules,I was thinking to myself....
We all filed into the room that was set up for the wedding and  (Waleema) reception. There was a curtain divided from where the women would sit and from where the men would sit.We could not see their side and they could not see us.
 All of us women sat down at various tables.
We could see the Musalla (prayer area) from our tables. Not sure that is the proper word for where the ceremony takes place or not..note to self..(look this up). The bride was sitting at the tables with the rest of the women. There were chairs lined up in the Musalla and all the men were seated in chairs in a row. I kept waiting for the future Bride to go over to the musalla and join her future husband. That did not happen.
There was prayers said,of which they translated  from Arabic to English for those of us that only spoke English. Then the groom got up and the Brides Father got up and went before the Imam (who we refer to as a Priest to those of us unfamiliar).
I kept watching the future Bride during all of this and saw her mouth moving along to the prayers and her head nodding in agreement throughout the ceremony.
The next part consisted of  William asking for Doleila's hand in marriage from the brides father. The priest talked about what it is to join in marriage. It sounded like they strongly encourage members of this religion to marry. The only excuse given not to marry would be the inability to afford to.
Soon it was over without the bride ever being along side her husband. There was a signing of the Marriage license(Nikaa).
 I found this all so different to the modern western way of marriage. Felt a bit like more of an agreement between the Father and the future husband. Very old school,I thought to myself.

There was another period of praying of which some of the women left and went back to the room we first were in and prayed. Women do not pray in the same room as the men. The bride explained that she could not take part in this as her gown would not allow her to bend down and bow as is needed. They kneel on the floor and bow down in a pose that I refer to as the Child's pose in yoga.My daughter told me they remove the shoes to get better grounded with the earth as they pray to god.

Next it was on  to the Waleema,the feast or meal. The men were served first. They filed around the banquet table. When they were done ,the woman were asked to go up.Great care was taken to allow the guests (us) of the Mosque to go up first. While we were eating we were able to speak with the new bride a bit ,who is very outgoing and down to earth. We found out that her girlfriends had straightened Doleila's hair (which is down to her waist) and put her make up on for the wedding.They commented that she is a bit of a tomboy and does not usually wear make up.Doleila wanted to have her hair straightened as a surprise to her new husband. We had no idea her hair was so long as it was covered under the head piece and scarves and could not be seen.The bride was beautiful in a blue gown.
Some of us women were getting all the more curious as to what was going on on the other side of the curtain with the men. Some started to text them (which we were told was OK to do). They texted back with a bit of info as to what they were up to. My mother n law commented that she was missing her husband which I laughed about. Maybe that's the point of all this separateness I wondered. Makes the heart grow fonder?hmmm they could be on to something I mused. My daughter also commented that these customs must encourage a close bond between women.I liked that they referred to all women as "Sisters" Very nice. She also commented that wearing long loose clothing also may make the women less self conscious of their bodies. I had to agree.
After we ate the main meal I noticed they put a table of fruit between the women's side of the room and the men's. Both men and women were allowed up at the same time to take from it. Then it was on to the cake ceremony and the exchange of the rings and jewelry.

The bride and groom gathered behind the cake and cut it together very similar to western weddings . They exchanged bites. then they exchanged rings and the groom also gave his new bride a bracelet.The bride had wanted an Opel surrounded by blue stones. It was beautiful and went with her blue gown wonderfully. There was much picture taking all around with everyone wanting pictures with the new couple.

Then It was on to cutting the cake and enjoying that. Also the men and women shared the cake at the same time. So mainly after the main meal it appears that men and women can eat together.
The Gathering dissipated soon after with the new Bride and Groom off to enjoy their first night together as man and wife.
The women exited through the "Sisters" door as when we had come in and the men through their door.
All in all I came away with joy for the two of them. Also with a renewed understanding of another culture and religious belief that I was previously unfamiliar with. I was very aware of some very basic things. We are not all that different.We just try to get to happiness in different manners. No matter how we express our love and wanting to share this life with another human being,we all want security and love.