since I last wrote in here. Mothers day this year was magical. My daughter arrived with a very thoughtful gift,Yoga pants and a beautiful green cloth yoga mat holder. She also gave me a card with news inside that I was to be a grandmother! I was over the top with joy. We took a trip to White Chapel where we tending to my mothers grave site and gave her the news of the upcoming great grand child.
It was a joyous day of the two of us being very happy and close and excited. I have to say one of the most memorable mothers days ever for me.
The weeks following were of excitement and a trip to the Doctor with my daughter and her husband for the first ultra sound. There it was a tiny heartbeat! Wow! We never had ultrasounds unless they felt something was wrong back when I was pregnant with my daughter.
I got excited with thoughts of shower planning.... Calling my daughter daily to see how she was feeling. Things seemed to be going textbook and I felt after her miscarriage in the fall ,this was going to be fine....
Week 8 into her pregnancy and cramping and bleeding began. Bed rest did not help and she was headed into another miscarriage. Sorrow. Sadness. Loss.
The distinct awareness how fragile life really is and how easily things can change in an instant.
Again we grieve. All the things people say ... "Its natures way...things just were "not right" "better now than later" None of it helps,and of course we already know all those things.
I am most worried about my daughters health. Number one always. Such an up and down hormonal roller coaster ride. The main thing is she has a great marriage and she has me and her step dad and all the other family that love them both. Things will be OK.
Someone told me that life is going exactly how it should be. I honestly can say I don't always "get IT" Looking back there are many things I would do different in my life,but then many other things would also be changed and I would not be where I am right now at this moment. So maybe they are right,life is going just as it should be.
Hang on ,some times its a bumpy ride.
